Have you ever sat down and identified all of the different roles you play? Do they serve you and your purpose or do they get in the way?
Here’s how identify and take control of your roles.
Now I want you to sit for a moment, and consider. Who are you to all the different people in your life? From your family, your work colleagues, your friends, clients or people you see every day on your commute?
And now. What do you mean to all of them. Who are you to them?
Did you decide on these roles? Or where they placed upon you?
Not sure what I mean? Well let’s start simple. Can you connect with any of these below?
|Wife||Employee||Boss||Bread Winner||Creative One|
But what about your other roles? You know the ones, the ones you didn’t chose
|Flat Footed||Thin Hair||Short||Impediment||Asthmatic|
How about the ones you may have selected, but that was years ago? Do they change per situation or the people you are with?
|Loud One||Empathetic||Always ready to lend a hand||Listener|
|Undisciplined||Cold Natured||Brings the Cob Loaf||Gossiper|
Now think about when you get together for family events. Can you always count on that Aunt to say something inappropriate? Or Dad to burn the meat? Does your Brother compare your work life to his, or your Mother get upset if everything isn’t perfect.
Some of these things are habits. Built up over the years, from integral components such as expectations, tradition, and the story we tell ourselves.
Being a teacher, I see this all the time. That jokester student. They get this title reiterated so often that if suddenly they are usurped by a newcomer jokester, they become lost. Lash Out. Behave like a cornered animal and try to regain their role in the class.
Those students who misbehave, are constantly told to ‘surround themselves with different people’ or told the things they need to do to change their behavior.
But it doesn’t align to the unconscious role they have assigned themselves. (or been assigned by others) And as children this can be really hard to change or adapt.
We all know that if a parent says they are bad at English/Art/Sports etc. and that their child will be too, that the child is going to enter the class with these preconceived notions about themselves already!
Talk about an uphill battle! #notaparent #butillteachyouathingortwo
I want you to think about yourself.
Do you tell yourself you are bad at math? So when confronted with a task that requires Math, your stomach churns?
Or that you’re terrible at dealing with confrontation and yet in your role as a manager, you need to address problem behaviour? And instead of stepping up, you run for the hills?
Identifying your roles can be a really healthy and cathartic activity that allows you to stop, analyse if these roles are serving YOU and if they are worth continuing playing.
You can then allow yourself to Align Your Goals to Your Roles, smashing your own expectations of yourself and serving the true you.
Roles don’t just have to be titles or nouns. They can be emotions you want to embody more fully, vibes you want to emit out into the world.
A whole swag of things really!
When writing down my list a couple years ago, I identified
Friend Motivator Comedic Relief Knower of Things Crowd Pleaser Rescuer Story Teller Daughter Sprinter Educator Leader
And some of these held positive narratives in my head, and some didn’t.
I have spent these past few years evaluating the roles I let myself lead, and have slowly started to change and modify those behaviours that don’t serve me. #slowgoing #newnarratives
Releasing myself from following the beaten track that made me unhappy, and instead work on solidifying those that fill my life with joy.
I want you to do the same
I want you to make a list of the roles you think you play in your life.
Write them all down at once, or leave it somewhere you can see and keep coming back to it.
Hell google what others have done before you if it helps your thinking, refer back to my examples. Talk about it with your friends or colleagues.
You’d be surprised my love at what comes out
You’ll be saddened at some of them as well. And that’s a good thing. That is you being honest with yourself. You know whats saderer? You not then acting to change those roles #biggirlpanties #saddleupcowboy
Look at how we can work towards flipping roles
Rescuer > Motivator People Pleaser > Balancer
Center of Attention > Sharer Yes Man > Let me think about it
And I don’t want you to do it because I asked, I want you to do it because you can sense that you aren’t living your best life and so here is your moment.
Write down your roles
Identify which ones aren’t working for you
And take the steps needed to change them
Whether it be for you #bestreason
Or to set an example for your children or friends
If you know you’d encourage them to action, why the hell aren’t you acting yourself!
Share a couple of your best ones below, allowing others to steal and grow with your amazingness