growth

  • 3 Small Couple Goals You Can Start Today

    Let me start off with….
    This is a journey. An adventure. A rollercoaster. A dance. Hell sometimes it’s a rumble.
    And we are all in. Constantly learning.
    And in some cases, that means making mistakes, pivoting and learning from them too.
    I’m not perfect. He certainly isn’t. But we are doing some pretty cool things you might not have thought of, so let me share. #yearsoflearning #moreyearstocome

    Here I am writing a post about making couple goals, when only the other day, I let my own goals, blindside me to my partner, which started a #humdinger of a …….. conversation

    I sent him a screenshot of a website I wanted us to use, to take an enneagram test. If you don’t know what they are, #great, cause my post on them will be up about them soon.
    And I was all, this is a great opportunity to get an outsider look into ourselves and our relationship, so we can then start great dialogue #blahblah #wankywank have a laugh, compare results #yadayada

    Him being the him that he is, checked out the website, which also promised to heal your chakras, mend your relationships, and cleanse your soul…. which then maybe made him lose his na na.
    Like, how could you be so silly kind of tangent. #ugh #hindsighticanseeit #butatthetime

    And I laughed.

    Because while that may be my jam. It isn’t his. And in his mind, here was Shannon, dancing off, spending our hard earned money on #voodoo to tell us essentially horoscope fortunes #itisn’t #itdoesn’t #waybetterthanthis

    The point I am making is.

    I was blinded by my goal of making us better communicators. That I forgot to communicate properly. #facepalm

    Action You Can Start Right Now

    Share Your Personal Goals. Ask Them About Theirs. Now Make Some Together.

    Might have noticed. Big goal setter here. Like, write them down, don’t move them from the fridge except for your quarterly check in, kinda goal setter. #notcrazy #mymotherhadmetested
    And when we first met, my partner was not. Like not even a little bit, too cool, go with the flow Mr he was.
    But after six years. #worehimdown
    I have my goals.
    And he has his own goals.
    We have couple goals. And it is damn nice.
    And our goals aren’t those #savemoney cheapo goals that you could find on a bumper sticker.
    They are SMARTAR goals. And even saying that aloud makes me all #smarmy and #we’rewinning
    Because it took a lot of conversations. But it was and is worth it. Because when things come up, whether opportunities, events or whatever, we can have a conversation as to whether the x y z will help us reach our personal or joint goals.
    Start the conversation. Ask your bae, what are their goals. You may just be surprised.

    Acknowledge When They Win. But Acknowledge Your Wins Too

    Bit of a motivator. Like a whoo girl, but, like, better. #howtosayimclevernicely…
    And so when I see B win, I am all over it. Hell some days it’s remembering to take the trash out, I will high five him. Other days it is him besting his deadlift PB. Or learning a new thing at work. And you know why I know these things?
    Because I am invested, I care, and I ask. #effort #putintheeffort
    And what I didn’t realise, was if I didn’t tell B; he presumed it wasn’t important and so wouldn’t ‘pry.’
    Now this took me years to realise. #slowlearner
    I didn’t used to #noreally like tooting my own horn and saying when I had had a win. But for B, at the time, that would be the only way he would learn of it. Because in his world, if it was important to me, I should share it with him. And not wait around hoping he may ask me. #makessenseiguess
    Tell your partner when you have a win. Sometimes you may have to explain why it is a win. That’s cool. The more background, the more information, and the more they see how amazing your win is. Just make sure you invest the same back into them. Be their #whooperson

    Tell Them What You Are Grateful For About Them

    We saw this in a movie when we first started dating. And #boyohboy am I thankful for it. Because it started as a game. Before going to sleep, say a couple nice things to one another.
    Like not lots, or every night #calmdown
    But, enough. Then we’d forget and the world would keep worlding, and suddenly something would happen, and one of us would start “You know I’m grateful for how you….”
    And it’s nice. It’s easy. Sometimes they’d be funny, or physical, or actions, or little/big things.
    But my golly no matter what, does it hit you in the feels and keep you #rosiecheeked for days.
    Tell your partner what you are grateful for about them. Don’t drop it on them and expect then can rattle off five things about you in return with no warning #beenthere #doesn’twork
    Give them prep time. Give them wait time. Tell them its important. Then share the love.

    Take it slow cowboy

    3 small things you could do today with your partner.
    Easy enough.
    The thing is though, you need to be conscious to do them. Don’t just smack your partner around the head with a ‘I’m grateful for how you x y z,’ and expect them to articulate all the wonderful reasons why they love you back in the next handful of seconds. Don’t set them up for failure. #dontbethatguy
    Hell, your partner might even wonder where this #flimflammery came from. Talk to them.
    Small, conscious, steps. Made together. These are the things that make a big difference.
    Good Luck

    Got a couple, better, smaller, more achievable goals couples can make together? Post them below and share the love darlings!

    Sx

  • To Download New Ideas, You Need to Unplug

    Unplugging can be no radio while folding your washing. Walking barefoot down the beach without your headphones. Leaving the house without your devices.

    What in the Nelly?

    There was a time when I was plugged in to every outlet, device, medium, source and file. Didn’t matter what it was, as long as it supported my productivity, fed my passion for learning, kept me in contact with my tribes and on time; I’d have it.
    I even bought an app to take a photograph of every piece of clothing in my cupboard, so I could virtually plan my outfits for the coming week. #productivitytrap #sillywoman

    And you know what?
    It wasn’t so bad.
    I was productive. I was in contact with my fambam. I was achieving.

    But,
    I realised,
    I was achieving other peoples goals. Not my own.

    I was in contact with my friends and family, at the detriment of myself sometimes, always allowing them in, with no consideration if I was able, but always being what they needed.

    I was monitoring my productivity, and getting so good, that I was adding more and more of other people’s work, desires, wishes, goals, wants, and needs onto my plate, without realising that I didn’t have a single anything for myself on there.

    Now I’m going to pause a second and admit, I am telling a fib here.
    I didn’t work this out. I didn’t have a moment of clarity nor brilliance. #wishihad #muchmoreprolific #notenlightened

    My partner pointed it out. #bloodyknowitall

    He pointed out I was working so hard for everyone else, and asked what the bloody hell was I doing for myself? For Us? For my goals? For our goals? Some of the things I was working on didn’t even align to my core beliefs nor values, but the #peoplepleaser in me was pushing through instead of pulling back.

    What in the nelly?!

    Science Time Fools

    I’d like to say I stopped. That I unplugged and my muses came rushing like my tears watching any #disney film ever.

    But…
    I didn’t.
    I burnt out.
    Bad.
    My creativity was gone. I had nothing. Not even a paint by numbers was achievable. #soempty #flacidcreativity

    At this time, my employment offered me an opportunity to learn under the guidance of a brilliant humanpreneur on the subject of Neuroscience.
    And what she said, struck so many chords, I then went out and researched more and more and realised, well hot damn they’re not wrong. Unplugging is bloody good for your creative abilities. #boredomisgood #neuroscienceisontosomething

    Not feeling me?
    Check out this passage from Dr Sandi Mann, psychologist and author of The Upside of Downtime: Why Boredom is Good.
    “When we’re bored, we’re searching for something to stimulate us that we can’t find in our immediate surroundings….So we might try to find that stimulation by our minds wandering and going off someplace in our heads. That is what can stimulate creativity because once you start daydreaming and allow your mind to wander, you start thinking beyond the conscious and into the subconscious. This process allows different connections to take place. It’s really awesome.” 

    I read it and thought, huh, that’s cool.
    Didn’t truly believe her though. I didn’t believe anyone.
    But you know when it all clicked?

    When I bought a dog
    And started to take her for walks….without my headphones.
    Because I would bet my bottom dollar, the idea for this platform to push and share my creativity came while exploring with her.
    The subplots and motivations for my characters in my novel, came while walking.
    How to problem solve minor issues at work, came while walking.
    Perfect gift for my partner for his birthday, came while walking.
    While not being conscious of the time.
    Nor where we where going.
    Not focusing on outcomes #exceptherenjoyment
    Nor demanding more from myself then just enjoying being with her.

    I now #whenican seek out and allow myself time to be unplugged. To be bored. Not in charge. #freakinghard #controlfreak #feelssogoodthough

    And those slinky muses of mine, they come charging in, I tell you what. Bloody valkyries with their ferocity, as if they’d been waiting for the opportunity when I wasn’t so engrossed in others needs and allowed myself a moment for me.

    (Don’t get me wrong. I still go out and actively hunt down ideas, solutions for problems I can’t fix; my light bulb moments. While I make sure I give my muses an open channel to find me, those sly foxes sometimes like to make me play hard and earn my brilliance) #humbleisforanotherday

    This piece you’re reading right now? Was first written while on a 3.5 hour flight, where I went full analogue and didn’t allow myself any technology bar a highlighter, pen and journal. #pagesofideas #liberatingmoment #washard #didgettwitchy

    You Do You… But Outside Now

    Dog walking not your style? Or not a fan of the outside?
    Where can you allow, not schedule, but allow those quiet moments in?

    I want you to allow your mind to wander, to daydream, to be free.
    Is it, no social media before bed, or before work in the morning?
    No radio on your drive to work? Or instrumental music with no lyrics to distract you?
    Taking your lunch break away from your desk #needtolearnthisone
    When challenged by a podcast to stop and think about something they just said, do it, instead of powering through
    Taking the stairs at work, instead of the lift
    I don’t care. It’ll be different for all of us.
    Just
    Unplug

    I’m going to say a line I have had repeated to me more times than I would care to admit.

    Imma need you to chill

    Personally I always took that as an affront to my naturally intense personality.
    But did you know you can still be intense and chilling?
    I look damn fine while walking my dog and at times, you may even call it a shuffling jog.
    My mind is free, my dog is happy, my mind is bubbling

    To download new ideas, you need to unplug, chill, relax, breathe, ground, pause; whatever word works for you….. do it.

    And totes make sure you do a shout out to me in a couple years, when you win that big award for that cool thing you come up with tomorrow, while having your quiet time.

    Sx

  • What Roles Do You Play in Life?

    Have you ever sat down and identified all of the different roles you play? Do they serve you and your purpose or do they get in the way?
    Here’s how identify and take control of your roles.

    Hello Darling,  

    Now I want you to sit for a moment, and consider. Who are you to all the different people in your life? From your family, your work colleagues, your friends, clients or people you see every day on your commute?

    And now. What do you mean to all of them. Who are you to them?

    Did you decide on these roles? Or where they placed upon you?

    Not sure what I mean? Well let’s start simple. Can you connect with any of these below?

    MotherDaughterCarerPartnerGardener
    WifeEmployeeBossBread WinnerCreative One

    But what about your other roles? You know the ones, the ones you didn’t chose

    AustralianFemaleBlondeDry SkinCurvy
    Flat FootedThin HairShortImpedimentAsthmatic

    How about the ones you may have selected, but that was years ago? Do they change per situation or the people you are with?

    Loud OneEmpatheticAlways ready to lend a handListener
    UndisciplinedCold NaturedBrings the Cob LoafGossiper

    Now think about when you get together for family events. Can you always count on that Aunt to say something inappropriate? Or Dad to burn the meat? Does your Brother compare your work life to his, or your Mother get upset if everything isn’t perfect.

    Some of these things are habits. Built up over the years, from integral components such as expectations, tradition, and the story we tell ourselves.

    Being a teacher, I see this all the time. That jokester student. They get this title reiterated so often that if suddenly they are usurped by a newcomer jokester, they become lost. Lash Out. Behave like a cornered animal and try to regain their role in the class.

    Those students who misbehave, are constantly told to ‘surround themselves with different people’ or told the things they need to do to change their behavior.

    But it doesn’t align to the unconscious role they have assigned themselves. (or been assigned by others) And as children this can be really hard to change or adapt.
    We all know that if a parent says they are bad at English/Art/Sports etc. and that their child will be too, that the child is going to enter the class with these preconceived notions about themselves already!
    Talk about an uphill battle! #notaparent #butillteachyouathingortwo

    I want you to think about yourself.

    Do you tell yourself you are bad at math? So when confronted with a task that requires Math, your stomach churns?
    Or that you’re terrible at dealing with confrontation and yet in your role as a manager, you need to address problem behaviour? And instead of stepping up, you run for the hills?

    Identifying your roles can be a really healthy and cathartic activity that allows you to stop, analyse if these roles are serving YOU and if they are worth continuing playing.
    You can then allow yourself to Align Your Goals to Your Roles, smashing your own expectations of yourself and serving the true you.

    Roles don’t just have to be titles or nouns. They can be emotions you want to embody more fully, vibes you want to emit out into the world.
    A whole swag of things really!

    When writing down my list a couple years ago, I identified
    Friend Motivator Comedic Relief Knower of Things Crowd Pleaser Rescuer Story Teller Daughter Sprinter Educator Leader

    And some of these held positive narratives in my head, and some didn’t.

    I have spent these past few years evaluating the roles I let myself lead, and have slowly started to change and modify those behaviours that don’t serve me. #slowgoing #newnarratives
    Releasing myself from following the beaten track that made me unhappy, and instead work on solidifying those that fill my life with joy.
    Is nice
    But hard!

    I want you to do the same
    I want you to make a list of the roles you think you play in your life.
    Write them all down at once, or leave it somewhere you can see and keep coming back to it.
    Hell google what others have done before you if it helps your thinking, refer back to my examples. Talk about it with your friends or colleagues.
    You’d be surprised my love at what comes out

    You’ll be saddened at some of them as well. And that’s a good thing. That is you being honest with yourself. You know whats saderer? You not then acting to change those roles #biggirlpanties #saddleupcowboy

    Look at how we can work towards flipping roles
    Rescuer > Motivator People Pleaser > Balancer
    Center of Attention > Sharer Yes Man > Let me think about it

    And I don’t want you to do it because I asked, I want you to do it because you can sense that you aren’t living your best life and so here is your moment.

    Write down your roles

    Identify which ones aren’t working for you
    And take the steps needed to change them
    Whether it be for you #bestreason
    Or to set an example for your children or friends
    If you know you’d encourage them to action, why the hell aren’t you acting yourself!

    Share a couple of your best ones below, allowing others to steal and grow with your amazingness

    Sx

  • The Journey Begins

    The digital bohemian is one who’s exploration of life is not limited by time, place, technology nor community. We are bound in our lust for beauty found in all places, our desire to push further and knowledge that the world owes us nothing, but we owe it everything.

    Shannon Beau

    Hello Darlings,

    My name is Shannon Beau and this is my little corner of the internet.

    I live in South Australia, work as an arts educator with kids all day, so you’re right, my day job bloody rocks, and am about to start the editing process on my first manuscript as a hopefully one day soon published author. #soundsprettybossright

    I live with my B and our pup Teaspoon who is our everything. We like to go exploring and adventuring as much as we can, especially if there is gf food involved. Lies, we hates the gf foods, but apparently being diagnosed coeliac a few years ago means I now have to live off things other then roadhouse steak sandwiches #adultingishard

    Now…

    I built this community to give you a place to breathe; to learn; to share.
    You life as a digital nomad who restlessly roams the internet, searching for their tribe, a place to connect and be inspired is hopefully pausing to consume some of my awesomeness atm. #humblemuch

    The Digital Bohemian is a place for you to meet like minded individuals, dedicated to a lifelong exploration of their creative passions. Those of us who explore not one medium but many to explore our lives. Who want to grow and ensure that the life we are living, is one by conscious design, and not an afterthought smeared across the window of your hurtling career path.

    I’ve got you. You’re home.

    Look around, comment if something I’ve said has struck a chord, download our free resources and share the love with others if you think they’d enjoy this little place too.

    I want this place to be a community and I am so glad you’re here.

    I see you
    I am thankful for you
    Now enjoy

    Shannon x