learning

  • 3 Small Couple Goals You Can Start Today

    Let me start off with….
    This is a journey. An adventure. A rollercoaster. A dance. Hell sometimes it’s a rumble.
    And we are all in. Constantly learning.
    And in some cases, that means making mistakes, pivoting and learning from them too.
    I’m not perfect. He certainly isn’t. But we are doing some pretty cool things you might not have thought of, so let me share. #yearsoflearning #moreyearstocome

    Here I am writing a post about making couple goals, when only the other day, I let my own goals, blindside me to my partner, which started a #humdinger of a …….. conversation

    I sent him a screenshot of a website I wanted us to use, to take an enneagram test. If you don’t know what they are, #great, cause my post on them will be up about them soon.
    And I was all, this is a great opportunity to get an outsider look into ourselves and our relationship, so we can then start great dialogue #blahblah #wankywank have a laugh, compare results #yadayada

    Him being the him that he is, checked out the website, which also promised to heal your chakras, mend your relationships, and cleanse your soul…. which then maybe made him lose his na na.
    Like, how could you be so silly kind of tangent. #ugh #hindsighticanseeit #butatthetime

    And I laughed.

    Because while that may be my jam. It isn’t his. And in his mind, here was Shannon, dancing off, spending our hard earned money on #voodoo to tell us essentially horoscope fortunes #itisn’t #itdoesn’t #waybetterthanthis

    The point I am making is.

    I was blinded by my goal of making us better communicators. That I forgot to communicate properly. #facepalm

    Action You Can Start Right Now

    Share Your Personal Goals. Ask Them About Theirs. Now Make Some Together.

    Might have noticed. Big goal setter here. Like, write them down, don’t move them from the fridge except for your quarterly check in, kinda goal setter. #notcrazy #mymotherhadmetested
    And when we first met, my partner was not. Like not even a little bit, too cool, go with the flow Mr he was.
    But after six years. #worehimdown
    I have my goals.
    And he has his own goals.
    We have couple goals. And it is damn nice.
    And our goals aren’t those #savemoney cheapo goals that you could find on a bumper sticker.
    They are SMARTAR goals. And even saying that aloud makes me all #smarmy and #we’rewinning
    Because it took a lot of conversations. But it was and is worth it. Because when things come up, whether opportunities, events or whatever, we can have a conversation as to whether the x y z will help us reach our personal or joint goals.
    Start the conversation. Ask your bae, what are their goals. You may just be surprised.

    Acknowledge When They Win. But Acknowledge Your Wins Too

    Bit of a motivator. Like a whoo girl, but, like, better. #howtosayimclevernicely…
    And so when I see B win, I am all over it. Hell some days it’s remembering to take the trash out, I will high five him. Other days it is him besting his deadlift PB. Or learning a new thing at work. And you know why I know these things?
    Because I am invested, I care, and I ask. #effort #putintheeffort
    And what I didn’t realise, was if I didn’t tell B; he presumed it wasn’t important and so wouldn’t ‘pry.’
    Now this took me years to realise. #slowlearner
    I didn’t used to #noreally like tooting my own horn and saying when I had had a win. But for B, at the time, that would be the only way he would learn of it. Because in his world, if it was important to me, I should share it with him. And not wait around hoping he may ask me. #makessenseiguess
    Tell your partner when you have a win. Sometimes you may have to explain why it is a win. That’s cool. The more background, the more information, and the more they see how amazing your win is. Just make sure you invest the same back into them. Be their #whooperson

    Tell Them What You Are Grateful For About Them

    We saw this in a movie when we first started dating. And #boyohboy am I thankful for it. Because it started as a game. Before going to sleep, say a couple nice things to one another.
    Like not lots, or every night #calmdown
    But, enough. Then we’d forget and the world would keep worlding, and suddenly something would happen, and one of us would start “You know I’m grateful for how you….”
    And it’s nice. It’s easy. Sometimes they’d be funny, or physical, or actions, or little/big things.
    But my golly no matter what, does it hit you in the feels and keep you #rosiecheeked for days.
    Tell your partner what you are grateful for about them. Don’t drop it on them and expect then can rattle off five things about you in return with no warning #beenthere #doesn’twork
    Give them prep time. Give them wait time. Tell them its important. Then share the love.

    Take it slow cowboy

    3 small things you could do today with your partner.
    Easy enough.
    The thing is though, you need to be conscious to do them. Don’t just smack your partner around the head with a ‘I’m grateful for how you x y z,’ and expect them to articulate all the wonderful reasons why they love you back in the next handful of seconds. Don’t set them up for failure. #dontbethatguy
    Hell, your partner might even wonder where this #flimflammery came from. Talk to them.
    Small, conscious, steps. Made together. These are the things that make a big difference.
    Good Luck

    Got a couple, better, smaller, more achievable goals couples can make together? Post them below and share the love darlings!

    Sx

  • What are Your Values & Why Do They Matter?

    My chins keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling roll ahh

    Let’s start off easy

    What is a Value, or Core Value

    Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organisation. These guiding principles dictate behaviour and can help people understand the difference between right and wrong. Core values also help companies to determine if they are on the right path and fulfilling their goals by creating an unwavering guide.

    CLICK HERE to read some great further examples

    Now why do you care?

    Well, because when asked what mine where…. I couldn’t answer. I mean I could, I could rattle off some generic first date bull about honesty and integrity blah blah

    Basically lines I’d heard others utter. #canlineforlineliloandstitch #ohanameansfamily

    But for me? Like for real me?
    I had never thought about it.

    I could be quick to judge others actions or values and yet had never consciously thought about my own. #peanut #walkinanothersshoes

    Would you go on Married at First Sight? Do a nude scene if you where an actor? Raise your kids vegan? Tell your colleague if their whoopsie cost you time and money? Be OK if a loved one chose to be euthanized?

    If your values where Love, Expression, Sustainability, Honesty or Free Choice…. You just might have to do or face something like these scenarios one day.

    Is it important to know your values?

    I truly think so. Knowing my values has helped me learn to say No to opportunities, friends, events, or circumstances that did not serve me and my wants.
    Those things that I know would cause me discomfort and would only be serving the needs of others.
    It could be as simple as not joining in on gossip, or by purchasing a sustainable toothbrush. #integrity #beeswaxwrapsaremylife

    Lets figure it out together

    Still a little lost on what yours could be? Lets cheat #workingsmarternotharder

    Grab a pen and paper, the notes function on your phone, the back of a receipt, or just a something where you can record to then reflect back on your answers.

    CLICK HERE to access over 200 examples of what could possibly be your core value. #iknowright #nextlevelcheating

    And write down every single one that means something to you

    Truth time, first time around, I wrote down over 50

    Then I sat and went through the list. And I scrapped those that where similar but I liked x language over y and I got down to maybe 15.

    Here’s a sneak peek at my mid way point…

    BOLDNESSCOMPASSIONCHALLENGECOMPETENCY
    CREATIVITYCURIOSITYDETERMINATIONGROWTH
    LEADERSHIPLEARNINGACHIEVEMENTAUTHENTICITY

    And this is what I found the hardest.

    As if deciding right there and then would somehow be a lightning bolt change my life moment.

    It wasn’t. But what it was, was still a pretty defining moment that is now embedded into each new project I undertake, new friendship I begin and use of my time.

    I look at these words…. (I’ve got them on a post it note on my diary) as a reminder to not only push myself but to be true to myself
    And I find it hard sometimes.
    Because sometimes, it’s easier to #gowiththeflow and not #upsetthecarrotbus
    But when you inevitably #crashandburn and wonder why?
    Look at your Values. Did they align? Nope? #bingobangoyou’reapeanut

    Take it slow.
    Funnily enough this isn’t a race.
    But through identifying, you can then start communicating and articulating why these are important to you.
    Hell, then you might even take action.

    Softly, Softly You

    C’mon now, tell me

    What Are Your 5 Values & How are they Reflected in Your Life?

    Write in the comments below and let me shower you in love for sharing your authenticity with us all

    Sx